Probably the most influential essay I ever read was Ralph Waldo Emerson's "Self Reliance." One who understands this understands life: "There is a time in every man's education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better, for worse, as his portion []." The individualist is what he is. She is a person with a soul or identity. He is not not a brand or object or commodity that demands the validation of others.
Some mistake the individualist for a narcissist. Christopher Lasch explains the distinction in the must-read Culture of Narcissism:
Narcissism represents the psychological dimension of this dependence. Notwithstanding his occasional illusions of omnipotence, the narcissist depends on others to validate his self-esteem. He cannot live without an admiring audience. His apparent freedom from family ties and institutional constraints does not free him to stand alone or to glory in his individuality. On the contrary, it contributes to his insecurity, which he can overcome only by seeing his “grandiose self” reflected in the attentions of others, or by attaching himself to those who radiate celebrity, power, and charisma. For the narcissist, the world is a mirror, whereas the rugged individualist saw it as am empty wilderness to be shaped by his own design.
It's hard for a society of narcissist to understand this distinction. If you are obsessing over what others think of you - serially Googling your name, e.g., - then you haven't attained self-reliance. You are not an individual. You are a brand that floats through the market, hoping for a stranger's grubby hand to stroke you.
The narcissist is obsessed with the attention of others; the individualist would prefer that others leave him alone. The narcissist is a slave; the individualist is free.
