Friends or Yes-Men?
April 07, 2010
Jack Marshall has apologized to Eric Turkewitz for leveling false charges against him. So...What went wrong? How can we learn from Jack?
In the past 48 hours, at least a dozen lawyers with stellar reputations for honesty told Jack to back off. Lawyers who work in legal ethics for a living explained that the accusations Jack made were false. They started off politely. Had Jack listened, he would have avoided an extreme shaming.
Right now, Google Jack Marshall and ProEthics. See what comes up in Google. That is what the world will see when deciding whether to hire or associate with Jack Marshall of ProEthics.
Mr. Marshall spent years creating an online persona - a brand. Years. His reputation was destroyed in a day. If I felt like spending more time on this post, I'd insert a bunch of quotes about reputation: Takes a lifetime to gain, and five minutes to lose. I'd quote everyone from Benjamin Franklin to Warren Buffett.
All of this could have been avoided if Jack had simply listened to his friends. Does he not have any?
Look, I am pretty confident and don't play the false-modesty game. That said, I have friends who check me. These friends don't tell me what I want to hear. They don't praise me. They advise me rather than whisper yes in my ear.
When a friend tells me something that angers me (because how dare anyone not agree with me!?), I listen. I don't end the relationship. If for no other reason, I keep these friends around to protect me from myself.
I wonder if Jack has any legitimate friends? Any friend would have told Jack one of the following: (1) Dude, your accusation is false. There is zero legal support for your argument. Pull the post immediately and apologize. (2) Even if you're right, you're being obnoxious and hyper-technical. It's not worth it. (3) Bro, these people are going to ruin you. Even if you're right, it's not worth it. Stop!
What often happens with the narcissistic is that they lose all of their friends. A narcissist is convinced of his own brilliance. Ergo, anyone who disagrees with the narcissist is wrong. When your word is gospel, everyone else is a sinner.
With no friends around, they keep digging themselves into a deeper hole. There's no one left to say, You're out of line, man!
Keep friends around - especially those who disagree with you. They will save you from yourself. All of us have found nooses around our necks - that we tied ourselves without realizing it.
And if someone agrees with everything you say, that person wants something from you other than friendship. Those people make useful idiots, and you're foolish to mistake them for friends.