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April 2011
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June 2011

Naomi Wolf's Non-Sequitur

Naomi Wolf colors her hair to hide the grey of old age. She gets Botox injections to hide the wrinkles of age. She uses Restylane to fill in her sunken facial features. Before an official photo is published, she has a photo editor give her face plump, eliminate the dullness of old age, and color in fine lines wrinkles. 

After doing everything imaginable to hide her old age, she writes an article claiming that old age is sexy

And you wonder why we don't take "feminist thinkers" seriously?

Arnold Schwarzenegger Was Raped?

A shocking interview reveals that Arnold Schwarzenegger may have been date raped:

'Patty said Arnold had been complaining that his marriage was sexless and Maria was never around, flying all over the world for her TV news job.

She continues: 'She said that one night after Arnold had been complaining about feeling lonely and unloved, he started drinking. After a few drinks, Arnold asked Patty to have a drink with him. 

'One drink led to another, and then another.

'Patty said they started kissing and that led to their first sexual encounter. They had unprotected sex.'

This is appalling. Clearly Schwarzenneger was too drunk to consent to sex with his housekeeper. Authorities should begin investigating the housekeeper immediately. 

One Prisoner, Fifteen Crimes

If past pattern holds, they'll be fifteen new crimes for each prisoner freed from California state prisons:

Overcrowding litigation is demonstrated to have a negative impact on prison populations, but is unlikely to be related to fluctuations in the crime rate, except through its effect on prison populations.... For each one-prisoner reduction induced by prison overcrowding litigation, the total number of crimes committed increases by approximately 15 per year.

Some would claim that we should therefore not release prisoners. Yet one reason there is a rise is crime is because of what happens in prison. We create the problem. Then we blame the increase in crime on released prisoners.

Nietzsche warned that, "He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster." Even a virtuous man will leave California prisons a monster.

Most have no conception of how bad California prisons are. When a member of the Hells Angels, serving a prison for manslaughter, describes California prison as, "Hell on earth, where every day is a fight for survival," then you can imagine what life is like for normal people. You don't remain normal for long.

Civilization hides our primitive instincts, and softens our ruthlessness. We tell ourselves that we are good people who care about others. Yet we eat our at expensive resturants while others starve. Even the rich among us rarely give give 10% to charity. We waste money on bottled water when millions don't even have running water. People starve, and we simply don't care. This is what we choose to do in a civilized world.

Prison is not civilized. Do you think that in prison you'd choose another prisoner's life over your own? Do you think you'd choose being gang raped and sold into sexual slavery over your cell mate's life? Of course you wouldn't.

You'd become a murderer. A person is a product of his actions, and so who would you become in prison? Due to the code of silence, you'll be released from prison. Now what will the new you do?

No one leaves California prisons normal. The question then becomes: Do you ensure that people never leave prison, in other words, give everyone a life sentence? Or do you reform prisons?

For years, California has declined to reform prisons. Instead, California has made it easier to send people to prison. The criminal code grows each year, and so too does the monstrosity of its prisons.

Any of you reading this could find yourself in prison. It is not God's grace - but a prosecutor's - keeping you from a pit of monsters.

If we want to reform prisons, there are two competing principles to keep in mind. Either make it easy to send people to nice prisons, or hard to send people to horrible prisons. Today, it's easy to send people to horrible prisons, and so Californians can expect a crime tsunami.

When the crime wave comes crashing into the coast, Californians will have have only themselves to blame. Voters are their own Mary Shelleys writing each page of a new Frankenstein monster with every ballot cast for "tough on crime" laws.

South African Riddle

You are in a South African prison when a man approaches you. He asks:

"It is raining. You are standing under an umbrella. I say to you I am getting wet; I may get sick. What are you going to do?"

See the comments for the right answer.


Truth is best discovered indirectly.

People asked direct questions have a motive to lie. After all, they know what you're asking. It is therefore far superior to ask an unrelated question. You simply need to learn the right unrelated question.

Which, for example, would be a better way of uncovering the truth:

  • a) Do you have sex on the first date?
  • b) Do you like the taste of beer? 

There is a correlation

Which is a better way of uncovering someone's politics? 

  • a) Are you a liberal or conservative?
  • b) Do you think cheese burgers and Mountain Dew makes for a mighty fine dinner?

Another correlation.

Snoop: What Your Stuff Says About You is full of similar correlations, and really is a must read for anyone in the persuasion business. (It's also good for daters. Extraverted women who travel are more likely to have sex on the first date than their introverted homebody counter-parts.)

Tips for Younglings

I was already half-lit when I returned from the liquor store with a bottle of vodka. The Russian crime boss, impressed that I thought my broken nose from a fight earlier was no big deal, paused, and with great gravitas proposed a toast: "We are drinking, but we are men. Let us all agree to be responsible for our words. Anyone who will not be responsible for what he says, let him leave now!"

My Sambo coach was from the Ukraine, well-connected, and no stranger to dangerous situations. Yet he looked sick with fear for me. But I could hang with Russians, even though I rarely drink.

The secret? I ate a bunch of full-fat sour cream over dumplings before taking more shots.

If you're going to drink with the big boys, don't eat bread. That's a myth. Bread is a carbohydrate that easily breaks down into glucose. If anything, it makes you drunker, quicker.

You need fat in your stomach. Carry some packets of butter or peanut butter (re: those Smuckers packets you get with an English muffin from any diner) in your brief case. Sneak off to the bathroom to down them. The fat will slow the absorption of alcohol. 

For other valuable life tips, check out this post at Simple Justice.

Even Prosecutors Love Bad Boys

I wonder how many successful men suckers went home with their fists after buying this prosecutrix drinks

A Philadelphia assistant district attorney was yanked from prosecuting two men accused of attempting to murder an alleged drug dealer after authorities discovered she had struck up a romance with the victim, the Daily News has learned.

"We identified that there was a conflict of interest in the case, and we immediately notified the [state] Attorney General's Office, and they took over the case," said Tasha Jamerson, director of communications for District Attorney Seth Williams.

Jamerson angrily refused to disclose the nature of the conflict. She said the D.A.'s office does not comment on such matters.

The prosecutor, Jennifer Mitrick, 30, did not respond to a Daily News message left on her office phone.